You bring everlasting light to me every time we meet,
graces me with hope for the world so before darken to me.
You brought me back to life from hurt and misery,
infused my very soul with light that's planting seeds of true faith.
Until you came I was a blind man running for the devastating edge.
Each day I stand taller shaping into a man worthy to be by your side,
always wanting to do better for our future and shape into a secure rock for all.
For you nothing is impossible, by you anything gorgeous,
everyday I want to bring out the best for you alone,
every dream you plant I will protect and make them grow taller.
You making my heart so pure it has no boundaries for you now,
I want to bring down very brightest stars from the cosmos to your door step,
I want to embed your well being bringing down the heaven to earth,
letting you feel how it is to be the only women in the world.
Its my declaration and promise, I will aim my compass and steer truthfully
for this sole purpose until the end of my earthly days.

Yours, now and for ever

......Still see your gracious shimmer of your gorgeous eyes in my mind.
Never thought a single look could bring me to my knees,
send shivers down to every nerve ending and all down my spine,
Your amazing grace and personality is unlike any and gorgeously unbeatable.
one glimpse of your slender perfect lines and my ground disappears.
Keeping me locked and captive in what's seemingly never going to be,
hidden on-purpose away, shattering my existing life,
awaiting to erupt in a supernova.
Not seeing the face of perfect grace clouded and darkens my every passing day.
No one else on this earth is going to be able to measure up
 and make me feel this strong again about anyone.
Tender forever care and unquestionable love for eternity is not enough gratitude
or praise to tell you how precious you are to me.
In my mind you will always be the face of perfect grace, one and only !
for ever yours, if you let me....

.....Thanks all who went before me and
praise God for letting me be part of your blessed world.
All facets I feel for you is so infinite, near impossible to depict,
just a sheer moment with you rekindles every hope of beauty in the world.
A look in your heavenly eyes turns hopeless night into blessed dawn.
It's like winning absolute jackpot of all time just to stand alongside
your amazing grace.
 I keep Underestimating the force and passion I sense between us,
as it's growing everlasting and to new heights each passing moment.
The first and only woman I would ever kneel down to,
as you make me into and feel like your champion.
Truly the only one I will let to know all of me,
to keep and share my passionate heart,
body and soul, until forever,
in an unrecoverable rising high.
Love alone is worth the fight, always yours, now and forever !

..... I already knew I loved you the day I finally meet you,
every fiber of my being tells me so,
I have meet you in my dreams before.
Seen your gracious silhouette, hearing your breathe,
whispers in the dark of hope and faith, just enough out of reach.
Been foretold that around this time I will finally find mine.
Now faith crossed our paths and my love will be unbreakable.

Being asked " Why do I do it?" is like asking me why do I exist?
It's like being given a suit of light armor protecting me trough everything,
might of templars and angels guided trough time and space.
It has shaped me into the man of larger heart than himself.

Sounds lyrical and fictitious,
it's hard to put in words, my actions will show the true meaning
of what I am and where I'm going, born for a reason, to be here.
I do it because , it's right, it's honorable, it's my light, by faith it's me !
By your side, I'm complete in everything, unmatched !
By your side is where we both and all around will shine,
here I devoted stay, protect, nourish and cherish until I die.

......asked " Why do you do it ",
I can not ignore or longer shut my eyes to faith tapping my shoulder,
as it has countless times during my life, miracles that should shake any man.
Hiding to long not living life as I should, denying myself my inner strengths,
given multifaceted gifts, visionary emphatic mind and a creativity
that can be a curse at times, as I can endlessly wander imaginatively
and see whats around ever corner.
Closing myself of in a bubble letting my golden heart and
true passionate self be dormant,
never listening to the appraisal that how good and caring person I am.
 My kindness & devoted nature might be overwhelming and letting myself
get hurt to much, but the yearning of finding purpose is coming back,
hearing the whispers showing me hope by your-side,
now im destined to find it, its here and now.
Like a miracle of faith they swing the door open into your graced world,
my past scars, pain and self-doubts healing miraculously inch by inch,
shackles after shackles lifted, showing me the true path to light,
 Who am I to question faith this time around,
for the first time and ever, I genuine feel at home. [To be continued]

....In her eyes, destine to fall, just her man,
loving and cherish her unlike any other can.
In her eyes reflection I can retreat,
such sublime splendor, my soul soars and gets complete.
In her eyes, faith feels so infinite, hope never felt stronger,
all my past scars healed and is no longer,

in time, I'm destine to fall to my knee, just your man,
 loving and cherish you with ring at hand,
looking into your eyes reflection there is no more retreat.
By your splendor sight I raise my hand longing to be complete.
Moment in time of offering of endless joy and bliss,
hoping this will not be my end and defeat.
By faith so infinite, I  do promise keep hope stronger,
healing us until end of time when we are no longer.........

Always yours...

.... there is only two commanders in my life,
God all mighty's faith showing me the path,
my girlfriends mind, body, soul and grace that rules my heart.
Not that I'm without strength or will,
not being a doormat or being so called " Yes man ",
it's the other way around, She is putting me as her prefered Alpha,
man of choice, she deserves nothing less than the best then !
With grace and honor I will be her shield, weapon of choice.

.... Even if Im down in a root,
broken trying to heal, striving to get ahead,
searching for Gods grace, living a world of population of 2.
Longing be loved and appreciated, be a better companion
to open the door of true love, not to be alone.
Changing my poverty life to something meaningful,
struggling to undo all once mistakes and relinquish once wrongs.
To be better for me, her and the once I left behind.
Seeing all the good one can do, a higher purpose,
re-leave pain and suffering, heal others.
Dilemma of having a compassionate and empathetic heart,
you want todo so much more, feeling time is short.
Nothing is more important now than my own journey and hers,
hard to mantle an entire world on once shoulder as-well.
My strength is not my own at this time and space,
I'm eternal sorry I can not help anyone else,
I'm here and now in population of 2,
me and you, our faithful journey.

.... all my little lights was blown out,
all alone, tainted and beaten, feeling defeated.
Never to hear the true loves serenades.
Praying to fill and light up my neglected heart.
As my last candle dimmed you stepped in to my world,
rekindled my skies with millions of bright little lights.
Bringing abundance of hope never to be alone again.
Strengthen my faith and given me purpose and joyful life.
Taken your hand and all my little lights shining bright,
in your presence there is plentiful to even give away.
Together our lights heals and guides us as one,
my wish and prayer I will never falter you,
will love and honor you until end of time, in return
never letting your little lights go out,
love you .....

....Oh honey, the intensity of my caring love for you
has no visible boundaries, my affection stays true and always.
In the layers of that ideal and stunning mind of yours, I could wander endlessly.
Follow the contours of your enticing gorgeous figure,
letting my firm hands safeguard your glorious soul.
You awake In me all that's makes a man truly strong,
by just inhaling all that makes you a perfect woman
evokes pure chivalry that would never abandon your gracious side.
Your gentle touch breaks strife and relinquish pain,
your velvet words makes all longing nights turn into bright hopeful light,
a smile makes my inner being take flight and soar for you alone.
There is no end of wondrous words , poems or songs,
depicting the the unique precious woman you always are.
When I'm with you, my faith is strong and darkness is long gone.
I will always hold on, oh my honey

.....never been more vulnerable than I'm at this very moment,
never been more truthful than this, never been more honest than now.
For you who have followed this blog sens the start,
it's an out of this world, blossoming long distance love affair.
From my perspective, an act of grace, twist of faith that brought me to her side.
For her and for the first time in my life,
I can feel comfortable in my own skin and beliefs,
For her and for the first time in my life,
I'm beginning to feel purpose and true joy of life.
For her and for the first time in my life,
I'm beginning put my own life, trust and soul into someone else care.
For the first time, I'm alive ! I sens glorious.

We waltz along our mutual understanding,
two unique heartwarming souls in deep relation,
so compatible but she keeps her heart so low and hidden.
I never could do anything without my heart in it, its not within me.
If not 110% of me is enough, I dig deeper and give 110% more.
I rarely expose and open up this way, being vulnerable,
but for this girl is worth more than I can give,
she is the lyrics and gospels that defines all that's everlasting
and gorgeously beautiful in this world.

I'm in torn within myself,
all though passionate much more than most,
attentive creative kind soul without end,
I still feel unworthy and inadequate for someone like her.
I wish I was not a poor alone desolated man, no career insight,
I wish and pray I could build her a rightful home,
satisfy all her earthly and emotional needs.
I wish and pray I could save her as she saved me.

We have each other, here and now,
at the moment content on where we are going.
I never give up hope on us, it's the right thing to do !

Have faith and never give up !
I was born to say I love you !

.....trough out my life, as far long back as I can remember,
always felt like an outcast, an outsider, endlessly looking in.
Living and admiring others from a far, never feeling at home.
Always striving to find purpose, clinging on to a thin thread,
a hope glistering and whispering in the distance.
Always choosing being in the back-rows, silent and still.
At night arguing against angels and God, pleading for answers,
getting everything all wrong and twisted.

Was wandering blindly, straying from the true path,
both of my own choosing and circumstances out of others control.
By every close call at the brink of the edge, nearly falling over,
grace stepped in, saved me, again and again and again.

Thought my estrange large gathered passion, creativity and fiery love
could not be tamed or harnessed, always to be left as a forsaken outcast.

This is where she unwillingly became
 my center piece, my compass guide of truth, faith and hope...
My drive out of my shell, my strength and compassion.
She ignites my soul for passion & faith, gives me purpose.
She brings order to my life, Im at home,
no more an outcast.

She might not told me everything,
holding back,
might be a rouge... who knows.....

Does not matter,
She is now my only girl in this life,
Living together to just be happy,
enjoy life, strive forward, be alive, give back,
hold and protect and give love.
Foremost trust our new found faith for each other.

.......darling, I'm amazed by you,
everything you are and do is captivating and charming,
every fiber of my being wants to defend and cherish you,
enshrine a safe harbor for us to flourish and grow.
 you are all that I adore,  It's not hard to over-indulge you.
I wish and pray you can see trough my hopes, trust and eyes,
that you are nothing but perfect and are safe in my arms for ever !
It's stressful and hard at times, as I have to blindly trust you,
as you have to put your privacy & trust in me.
My hope is that you finally see and open up,
let me hold you hand for a change, let me lead you out, eye to eye,
your gorgeous, I'm proud and honored have you by my side.
You know that I would bend over backwards, always loyal until the end.
With our qualities, everything is possible, nothing we cant do or achieve,
with our openness to each other, attentiveness and able to talk about anything,
we go trough every bump with ease........

......laying close an serene, holding your hand safe,
feeling your graceful wings lightly flutter in the breeze,
there effortless motion sends countless delightful surges,
waltzing over my trembling exposed body.
In shortens of breath I tighten my grip of your delightful hand,
arching slightly backward, inhaling the sent of your heavenly body.
My heart rushes warmly faster, pulsating of pure serene pleasure,
making my heathen body vibrate and come alive.
Embracing and folding my arms around your angelic grace,
laying respectfully still, humming romantic whispers keeping you safe,
rocking back and forth in harmony until you notice me

First time in my life I feel healed, strengthen by undying light,
serene and bursting to soar in the heavenly skies.
You make my passion grow, my determination rock solid,
my doubts trickle and fall to ashes. As we dance to our own melody,
I can finally be at ease, be my truthful right self for you alone.
Your gorgeous presence and delightful soul is all I ever need.
Now and forever, always by your side ! Never falter.

Darling Angel of Mine, I'm Fully Yours !

.....This blog post might seem a bit incoherent and confusing.
We are at the point of the present, here and now, eye of the lovers storm.

I've never felt or known that a single person more than perhaps God himself,
could ignite every part of my body & mind,
engulfed me in heavenly fire to the brink of ecstasy,
just by an innocent alluring gaze.

Within my very being,
 lurks a kindhearted emanating white-crusted sleeping dragon,
furiously with fiery passion and unbreakable devotion & trust.
If ignited, born for a single time, trusted for only one exclusive.

Harmoniously and angelic she dances past every defenses,
her tender sweet caress makes my inner dragon purr of heavenly joy,
her sensual body provokes every fiber of my body, mind and soul.
Alluring whispers shatters right from wrong,
in presence of her gorgeous gaze I feel divine and strong....
Your  now the composer and trusted conductor of my sparked heart,
now and forever, the only one, that my true heart will be shown.



It's hurting at this level of our estranged relationship,
as I reached a captivated place where I'm torn apart by
my own fiery heart for realism to the promises along the way.
Locked and twisted by faith to a place I cant live without.
She is now unwillingly set as the best part of myself,
a cornered founding stone of my reborn life.
To me she is a true soul-mate that I'm willing to die for.

The effect she has on me is indescribable,
I will never be able to go down this path again,
because as we meet its picture perfect, explosive beyond belief.
So its now sad to let you know this blog, is coming to an end.
I cherish every moment of her as it was my last on this earth,
she is worth it more than own self, but in the end,
doing so, I be tumbling down, like a fallen angel, back to the shadows again.....

[The End - Breaking the bubble.]

.... God your beautiful

.....Faith have a way of embracing me, nudge my path,
puts me in the right moment, at the right time for a reason.

I always been spiritual but never truly believed,
all though my broken past and all the signs.
Always known had guardian angels,
It all started when I was about two years old,
did a balancing act two stories up on the balcony rail,
one tiny step I would had fallen down to a early grave.
Escalating trough out my childhood,
been close to death one to many times,
always saved by faith and blessed for a reason.

Remembering as a troubled traumatized child,
standing in my underwear hitting my little hand
trough that big glassed framed painting.
Breaks into thousand deadly pieces
shattering and flying all over the room
Only one single shard hits me,
penetrates 1/4 of inch just below my eye socket,
seeing myself in the mirror as the wound hit an artery,
blood in a steady stream in-front of me,
one tiny inch either direction and I would had been blind.

Countless stories of close death calls,
going trough traumas that taken so long to overcome.
In my loneliness & secrecy praying and trying to be heard,
trying to understand, always left with one thought,
have hope and faith, it will come.

Every-time when I needed the most, they stepped in,
picked me up from my knees, carried me for a while,
Sent me the thing I needed the most at that just time.
Changed my path to where I needed to go.

Within my family there is a linage of prophesy dreamers,
I have this ability at times, something I rarely speak of,
as many would think Im nuts and want to mark me for it.
I get very vivid special dreams, something out of the ordinary,
within these if something grand or shattering is about to happen,
I get signs from it. Has happen a few times, and always been right.
But never could act upon them, as they only make sens afterwards.

With this in mind, over 20 years ago,
I've meet this woman in the most unlikely places and circumstances.
Was sitting my back turn to there table,
eavesdropping unnoticed with my friends.
They where  talking about prophesy and clairvoyance,
this older lady had this ability, she suddenly turn over to me and my table,
and said "You get yours when your about 40"

There is so much more to this story,
so much unsaid and untold, hands of faith to be revealed.
Im just going to leave and end this post with just saying
God blessed my broken road and it brought me to you !

..........this world has multifaceted ways to have a relation,
love can start and grow in the most curious places,
it can be so out of touch of reality but in essence all the same.
An online relationship can be as much real and true as
the couple walking down the road holding hands.

Love, affection and togetherness has no boundaries,
no matter the walks of life, where or how it happens.
When two people mutually connect, walking side by side,
to them its the right choice, right time for there happiness.

Before this journey started, before I believed in myself.
I walked a very dark and shadowed life,
hidden and enclosed in a bubble, escaping reality of life.
Hiding in dark corners looking in as an outsider.
Never knowing or accepting my true potentials, always waiting.

It's been like grace of faith I'm alive today, over and over again.
So many times being close to death and been mysteriously alter course,
like being carried by guardian angels in the corner of my eyes,
just waiting for the right time to come to the right place.
Like being kept on-hold for a grand finale, a higher purpose.
Much of all this making more sens now, as I found myself in her.
I'm not a religious person all though I must admit, and still today,
I from time to time, prayed to the spirits
or who ever might be listening for help.
Meeting this girl is nothing more than godsend to me




Never told her this,
even though we might only have an online relationship,
from time to time being complicated, as we grow and trust each other,
she is the reason I waited to break my bubble ! My time to be me,
and its all hers or no one else's..........

[Might be continued]

.....week that followed she saved my life,
she sparked my desolated heart into a steady unbreakable flame.
My life was bare, self-tortured and isolated.
Reaching out and yearning for a purpose.
Countless years in a tormented quest
to find my rock, my caressing muse, my true self.

She cleared the path,
She did not mind the thorns,
She saw destiny where I did not,
She broke every chain holding me down,
She made me stand tall,
She sparked my bonfire heart.




She got into my darken soul,
snapped her delicate sensual fingers,
engulfed me with warmest fiery light,
the ground underneath shook as I rises.
Her sensual aphrodisiac healed my past scars.
As the angel she is, cured my fears of the future.
The love we make elevates our lonely spirits.
We started a long invigorating journey together,
part of is, to be the man and woman we infuse us to be.
In heart, body and souls.
For her, for me, for us.
She will always be my glorious !



Months to come and still continues to day,
 I turned my life around on a single dime,
going from feeling being last to be the head of the wolf-pack.
Already shredded over 66 pounds of my back,
She inspires me to be the better man,
turning my bad doings to the truthfully right.

As we live so far apart,
many don't approve or understand our long distance relation,
It is an agonizing pain and strain of trusting each other,
but I keep her safer than my own self, loyal until I die !
I pound faith into my rugged chest each and every day, for the both of us !
Every time we meet, makes us happier than the day before,
our well-being and happiness is what counts,
our moments together makes time truly stand still.

[To be continued]

...As we continue, I need to get you familiar with virtual worlds.

There are countless people, spread all over the world,
logging into virtual worlds and taking on different personas.
Ranging all from a simple social media app,
just to share daily quotes or give anonymous advice
to elaborated lifelike environments, creating an alter-ego of yourself.

Secondlife is a rich user created world with all you can imagine,
there is enough materials, creations and explorations to last for years.
In this world your can create anything, be anyone and anything !
Your mind and fantasy is the true limit.
It's a compact version of real life.

Part from expressing yourself by creating your avatar,
you are stripped down to bare essentials to communicate.
Demanding you to be creative, expressive and foremost social.
Many only use the text chat option to mingle and do things,
but you can at anytime use microphone voice to either talk public
or if you so choose to, talk in private.

As you are stripped from reading body language,
only thing you go on is there avatar, profile and what they say.
At first it's a constant mind-game of faith, confidence and trust.
Nothing is face-value, sort of heighten observation of how they
react, how and the way they said it.

When we meet few months ago,
I was about to log and thought of leaving everything behind,
my self esteem right then was at its all time low,
my plans for building my clubs has gone astray.
Had difficulty leave out my emotions, as I wear my heart on my sleeves.
Exploration of being the bad " good " boy was coming to an end.

So was about to log,
thought I might check if anything is going on at my regular spots.
During my years of Second Life never encountered many from my own,
so already when we where introduced by another
for being from the same country, Charlotte was her real name,
but wanted to be called by her second name, Desiree, I got nervous.

So used to only speak in English, now I got blond and stumble on my words.
Noticed directly that she was someone who took good care of her avatar,
it was enticing playful , very pleasing and bubbly of sweetness.
Quick glans over all her profile,
As I heard her sensual voice and gorgeous personality for the first time,
everything else dropped. Anything and everything around me did not matter.
It was one of them rare moments, your chest pumps out of pleasure,
you feel a that tingling feeling surge along your spinal cord as you
turn around, my eyes glimmered passionately "Oooh Hello"
Time, space and reality did not mean anything anymore, it was just me and her !

Now your blind and only confiding in what you hear, how they are
everything else is canceled out, left to once vivid imagination.
I was mutual connection of hearing once voices reacting to each other.
It's like pealing layers of once personalities, expectations and insecurities.
It was more than common conversation. It was a lustful sensual erotic battle.
It was hard to keep up in the electrifying storm that's brewing around us,
it was tidal waves after tidal waves of enjoyment being around each other.

Seemed like forever, timed stopped, enclosed and bonding,
we where twirling around each other. For every new nuances revealed,
my walls breaks down, one after another, like clothing being cut of, part by part.
All until I'm totally defenseless and bare, then we sensually connect as one,
explode lustfully into a giant supernova, cleanses me of every self doubt and
lights up my broken heart with an everlasting flame.

[to be continued]

Let me guide you through it all, paint you a grand picture,
of what it was, what it is and where its going.



Before it began, several months ago...
my life was ages of self-inflicted torture of a troublesome past,
running and hiding from unresolved fears, traumas and lying to once self.
Screaming from a bottomless well , feeling cursed to wander unresolved alone,
no purpose, hurting in a enclosed protective false bubble. Escaping reality...
As the torment engulfed my fragile body, it feed and grew my passion & love,
that one day would finally be revealed and reserved for the one.

All though I've done a lot of marvelous things and
the birds keeps whispering words of encouragement,
than I'm unique, skills like most envy and got enormous potential,
I never acted even if I had countless wisdom's and experiences,
could not turn it around and apply it to myself.
So still enclosed in a bubble of self-piety,
about to literately take the bullet,
end it there a now, yet again...

Now on sick-leave, broken down, syndromes and depression,
laying at night wishing, praying to empty spaces,
at times even crying, not understanding,
hoping someone could hear me, feel me, help me, spark me.

I wandered out again into the virtual world,
calling myself RogueNerdy,
the Second life experience, a place familiar to me.
Seeking gratification and in a way also to help others.

Wandering around creating ventures for others,
nothing but meaningless thrills.

Then it happen,
when it dawn on me, this is was not enough,
this was leading nowhere, I have to do something with my real life.

From seemingly out of nowhere,
at the right time, down to the right millisecond, she appeared.
The odds that we would had meet there and then is close to nothing.

From the very first second I heard her voice,
its playful tone caressed my ears of  utter enjoyment.
It was tidal waves after tidal waves of quaking attraction.
Was staggering like a fool, trying to hide me being draw in.
It was like two unique magnets strained and trapped,
twirling twin-souls ready to be released and connect.
This is the night when the bubble broke, when I meet Charlotte
and the big bang begun.


[To Be Continued]