Let me guide you through it all, paint you a grand picture,
of what it was, what it is and where its going.



Before it began, several months ago...
my life was ages of self-inflicted torture of a troublesome past,
running and hiding from unresolved fears, traumas and lying to once self.
Screaming from a bottomless well , feeling cursed to wander unresolved alone,
no purpose, hurting in a enclosed protective false bubble. Escaping reality...
As the torment engulfed my fragile body, it feed and grew my passion & love,
that one day would finally be revealed and reserved for the one.

All though I've done a lot of marvelous things and
the birds keeps whispering words of encouragement,
than I'm unique, skills like most envy and got enormous potential,
I never acted even if I had countless wisdom's and experiences,
could not turn it around and apply it to myself.
So still enclosed in a bubble of self-piety,
about to literately take the bullet,
end it there a now, yet again...

Now on sick-leave, broken down, syndromes and depression,
laying at night wishing, praying to empty spaces,
at times even crying, not understanding,
hoping someone could hear me, feel me, help me, spark me.

I wandered out again into the virtual world,
calling myself RogueNerdy,
the Second life experience, a place familiar to me.
Seeking gratification and in a way also to help others.

Wandering around creating ventures for others,
nothing but meaningless thrills.

Then it happen,
when it dawn on me, this is was not enough,
this was leading nowhere, I have to do something with my real life.

From seemingly out of nowhere,
at the right time, down to the right millisecond, she appeared.
The odds that we would had meet there and then is close to nothing.

From the very first second I heard her voice,
its playful tone caressed my ears of  utter enjoyment.
It was tidal waves after tidal waves of quaking attraction.
Was staggering like a fool, trying to hide me being draw in.
It was like two unique magnets strained and trapped,
twirling twin-souls ready to be released and connect.
This is the night when the bubble broke, when I meet Charlotte
and the big bang begun.



[To Be Continued]





heartbeat

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